Random Links — 12.16.05

Here’s the almost defunct Random Links post. Have you missed it? I hope not.

Again, thanks to The Sports Guy’s World’s Daily Links for some of these.

———————–

First, why did they bother giving Mark Madsen, of the Minnesota Timberwolves, his own blog? I can think of a hundred more entertaining professional players that I’d want to read.

For instance, wouldn’t you rather hear about Steve Nash’s travels throughout Europe? Or Sam Cassell’s personal mouth-widening techniques? Or possibly a blog that chronicles the loss of Michael Olowokandi’s head-lump?

From Madsen’s blog:

Wally wants me to eat five meals a day instead of three. Every time I eat anything that’s not oatmeal, egg whites or whole wheat bread, he sounds the alarm. Hey, I’m trying to keep some weight on to be able to bang around with the big men in this league. I need to make sure I stay right in my comfort zone of 252 pounds. If I get too light, they’ll hammer me in the paint.

Fascinating.

———————–

Next, I have to bring these out of the “I Hate Scott Stapp” archive simply because they keep popping up on the Internet. They’re old stories, granted, but they’ll never lose their shine.

The first story is about Scott Stapp’s altercation with 311, a fight that ended up putting two of music’s most ridiculous personalities together in a battle for the “bands your kids will recognize as the Supertramp and Kansas of our generation” title.

From the CNN article:

Sexton said the band tried to defuse the situation, and Stapp went to the bar to drink. Later, he made “inappropriate” comments to Martinez’s wife, and was confrontational with Sexton.

“All of a sudden, he clocked me in the left side of my face,” Sexton said. “Then a huge fight broke out.”

During the melee, Martinez broke a finger and later went to the hospital to have a cast put on his hand. Security guards eventually broke up the brawl. Police were called, but no arrests were made, according to hotel security.

“It was an unfortunate incident,” Sexton said. “We are not brawlers.”

The second story is the now Internet-famous story of a group of kids that “punk’d” Scott Stapp at a Denny’s. It’s full of failed booty calls, goofy pictures, and stolen breast implant receipts. The original story, on LiveJournal, is here, while the condensed version with lots of links and pictures is here at Encyclopedia Dramatica.

A quote from the LiveJournal eyewitness report:

Anyway, so the guy who was so spiritually affected by The Passion of the Christ is now hightailing it to Gainesville to tag a piece of ass he met in an airport bar. And he’s having his ghettotastic hootchie skanky Jersey girl sleaze of a sister drive him. Yes, Creed is making his sister drive him to the Gainesville Denny’s for a booty call.

Enjoy that one.

———————–

Bret Michaels was shot at with a bb gun. He freaked out.

From the Boston Herald:

Hoping for “Nothin’ But a Good Time” from his invitation-only solo concert at The Rumbleseat on Nov. 21, Michaels, 42, a former paramour of Pamela Anderson, who has sold 22 million records, was allegedly fired on by a drive-by sniper while alone in the living quarters of his tour bus.

My favorite part about this article is how they do a lot to make Michaels sound like a real star — someone who has sold 22 million records and was a former paramour of Pamela Anderson.

———————–

Wait… you thought the Scott Stapp stuff was done? Not so fast! He showed up drunk to some television show called Casino Cinema that I’ve never even heard of!

From the New York Daily News:

According to multiple sources on the set, the 32-year-old Stapp appeared intoxicated when he arrived at the show’s upper East Side studio and proceeded to terrorize hosts Beth Ostrosky and Steve Schirripa, the producers and the crew members alike with his boorish and vulgar antics on- and off-camera.

———————–

Finally, AAA has graciously decided to start a Tippy Tow service for those of us who may be too drunk to drive this holiday season. This is pretty awesome, but it seems to be active in only Sioux Falls and Rapid City.

From the Argus Leader:

AAA will provide the free tow and ride for up to two people, no questions asked, within a 15-mile radius of where the person calls. The one catch is that AAA will only take the caller and his or her vehicle home.

To call for a Tipsy Tow, dial 800-AAA-HELP or 800-222-4357. The program, in its first year, runs from Friday through midnight Jan. 1.

Of course, as only the Argus Leader can, the headline reads: AAA offer tow service to people to drunk to drive

As Chris said yesterday when he noticed it – “The people at the Argus must be too drunk to write.”

Sorry, I guess that should be “to” drunk to write.

This was lovingly handwritten on December 16th, 2005