A quick thought on negative motivation

I’m not sure if there’s anything more frustrating than having an unfinished job staring me in the face even though I have no notion, no want whatsoever, of picking up where I left off and continuing on. It’s just not going to happen, no matter what I do. It will sit until I’m either so annoyed that I have to do it to calm my nerves or I feel so guilty that I end up doing it to spite myself.

Procrastination, I’d call it. But it’s always solitary to one specific job. We worked our asses off to get the main level clean. The dormer and basement are all that’s left. Each would take an hour if we set our minds to finishing them, to cleaning them up in preparation for the next step of the grand remodeling game. But we don’t. Instead, we stare at it, dumbed into a stupor, unable to blink for fear it will get messier, yet too unmotivated to get up and get at it.

I’ve suffered from this all of my life. I will be extremely anal about the most minute things, yet I will leave something else undone for months at a time. Ask my old roommates. Cleaning and picking up the living room? Every day! Taking my pizza box down to the garbage? Feh, leave it there.

This is common, right?

Does anyone want to come clean a house?

This was lovingly handwritten on June 28th, 2006