Do you still carry Tetris for Game Boy?

I had to laugh at this.

While searching for the proper way to address a food situation on an invitation, I ran into Advice with Dave and Dee, an etiquette site that answers many important frequently asked questions.

I was drawn to the topic “Video Game Gift Depends On Many Factors.” “What does etiquette have at all to do about buying someone a video game?” I thought to myself. The answer surprised me.

It wasn’t so much an etiquette answer as much as it was a look at someone who knows nothing about video games.

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Video Game Gift Depends on Many Factors

Dear Dr. Dave and Dr. Dee,

I want to surprise my grandson with a video game. What is the most popular?

Signed,

Unsure

Dear Unsure,

The video game you purchase depends on the computer or type of video game console your grandson owns. Some major brands of computer systems and consoles are PC, Macintosh, Microsoft Xbox 360, Nintendo Entertainment System, Wii and Game Boy, Sega Genesis, and Sony PlayStation 3.

Although there are hundreds of video games, your grandson may already have the game. For example, some very popular games are The Sims for PC or Macintosh, Halo 3 for Xbox 360, Super Mario Bros. for Nintendo Entertainment System, Tetris for Game Boy, Wii Sports, Sonic the Hedgehog for Sega, and Grand Theft Auto for PlayStation 2.

In addition, your grandson’s age may determine the type of game that is most appropriate or acceptable for him to play. It would be best to discuss video games with his parents before purchasing. They would know the games that he already has, which games he wants and whether they approve or not.

It’s as if Dave and Dee typed “Popular Video Games” into Google and threw together that list – a list that is as awkwardly humorous as any I’ve ever seen. Instead of passing the question on to someone with any sort of knowledge, Dave and Dee simply found some statistics and assumed that every video game system was still in production, like a “Nintendo Entertainment System” was as interchangeable as a “Television” or “Telephone.”

Of course, the question is hilarious too. “I want to buy someone the most popular video game! I don’t care what it is, just that it’s the most popular! That way I don’t have to take into account any sort of personal taste or the child’s personality – I can just make a safe assumption that he/she will like it.”

My suggestion — if you need help finding a video game for your kid, don’t ask two obviously out of touch, probably fake etiquette personalities like Dr. Dave and Dee. Instead, ask someone who – you know – actually plays video games. Like any twelve year old.