Guitar Hero III: The Best Game Ever Created

Today is the day.

A few weeks back, I proposed a challenge to all of my co-workers at HenkinSchultz.

Dear HenkinSchultz.

I challenge you.

That’s right. I, Corey W. Vilhauer, guitar virtuoso and all-around classy guy, challenge each and every one of you to take me on — yes, me! – in a game of Guitar Hero.

What’s Guitar Hero?

I’m glad you asked.

Guitar Hero is a video game where you become a Rock Star. Of course, if you’re like me, you already ARE a Rock Star. So no game is needed.

However, because none of you are as Rock Star-esque as I am, this video game will have to do. To play the game, you simply play guitar. Playing guitar on a video game? That’s preposterous!

Ha! It is NOT preposterous! It is GUITAR HERO!

With that, I propose the very first HenkinSchultz Guitar Hero Tournament. All we need is two Guitar Hero controllers (I can provide one!), a Sony Playstation 2 branded video game console, (I can bring that as well!) and plenty of ROCK AND ROLL.

So, HenkinSchultz. What do you say? Are you ready for the CHALLENGE?

Rock On.


And today is the tournament – a brutal 16-person, single-elimination rock challenge to determine the true Guitar Hero II champion. This is what I do at work. Welcome to advertising.

In preparing for the tournament, I decided to check in on the upcoming Guitar Hero III release. I grabbed the Wikipedia page, hoping that a few songs had been released.

So far, 33 songs have been announced for the game, which is being called Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock. And I was blown away. The list as of now, from Wikipedia:

* “3’s and 7’s” – Queens of the Stone Age
* “Barracuda” – Heart
* “Cherub Rock” – Smashing Pumpkins
* “Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll” – Blue Öyster Cult
* “Cult of Personality” – Living Colour
* “Even Flow” – Pearl Jam
* “Go That Far” – Bret Michaels Band
* “Knights of Cydonia” – Muse
* “La Grange” – ZZ Top
* “Lay Down” – Priestess
* “The Metal” – Tenacious D
* “Miss Murder” – AFI
* “Mississippi Queen” – Mountain
* “My Name Is Jonas” – Weezer
* “The Number of the Beast” – Iron Maiden
* “One” – Metallica
* “Paint It, Black” – The Rolling Stones
* “Paranoid” – Black Sabbath
* “Raining Blood” – Slayer
* “Reptilia” – The Strokes
* “Rock and Roll All Nite” – Kiss
* “Rock You Like a Hurricane” – Scorpions
* “Sabotage” – Beastie Boys
* “School’s Out” – Alice Cooper
* “She Bangs the Drums” – The Stone Roses
* “She Builds Quick Machines” – Velvet Revolver
* “Slow Ride” – Foghat
* “Suck My Kiss” – Red Hot Chili Peppers
* “Talk Dirty to Me” – Poison
* “Through the Fire and Flames” – DragonForce
* “Welcome to the Jungle” – Guns N’ Roses

Wait. Metallica? Tenacious D? Do you see all of the great songs listed? This isn’t just “here are some great artists, rock on!” This is “Holy Shit It’s Metallica’s ‘One’ and The Rolling Stones’ ‘Paint It, Black’ and ‘Sabotage’ and ‘Raining Blood’ and ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ and OMG THIS IS THE BESTEST GAME EVER CREATED!”

The game will come with a wireless guitar as well. And a two-player battle mode where you can break your opponent’s strings and stuff.

I’m so excited. This is what I want for Christmas. Except I want it right now. My only fear? That this is all a hoax and we won’t get any of this great stuff. My other fear? That Metallica sues the pants off of Activision for including a cover of their song, since they hate the idea of “fun” and want everyone to purchase the song every time they play it in GHIII.

Awesome. I’m ready to rock.

(Edit: Oh, AND Slash is a playable character. Double Awesome.)

This was lovingly handwritten on August 15th, 2007