If you smell….

Tonight. A three-way ladder match for the WWE Presidential Nomination!

In this corner, hailing from Arizona, weighing in at a sprightly and fit 180 pounds and sporting a POW/MIA flag draped over his shoulders like James Brown, Lieutenant John “Cactus Flats” McCain!

And in this corner, weighing in with a message of hope, understanding and amazing oratory skills, in his first three-way ladder match, “The Phenom” Barack Hussein Obama. “IF YOU SMELLLLLL WHAT BARACK IS COOKIN!”

Finally, entering the ring at a weight of Mind Your Own Business, the former valet of World Presidential Champion Slick Willy, from New York or Arkansas or wherever suits her best, The Pantsuit®* Hillary Rodham Clinton!

Let’s get it on!

* bell rings *


I’m sorry if I’m having trouble understanding this, but, well, I just don’t understand this.

The night before one of the most important primaries in my lifetime, and both candidates are squaring off in the square circle? On a WWE program?

It’s not that I don’t commend them for reaching out to the non-CNN crowd, and it’s not that I don’t understand how crucial it is to grab votes from a traditionally Republican crowd (at least for Hillary and Barack – McCain seems to be thrown in for equal time). It’s just that I find it hard to take this seriously.

2:1 odds that McMahon does a run-in, locks Hillary into a Stone Cold Stunner and helps McCain out of the ring.

This can’t end well.

(Yes, I know they won’t be there in person. Let me dream, please.)

*Registered trademark of Todd Epp.

This was lovingly handwritten on April 21st, 2008