Pronounced

A couple of words I rarely pronounce correctly, and the official reasons behind the incorrect pronunciation:

Colombia

I can’t manage to say this word without really emphasizing the “long o” sound. Coh-Lohm-be-ah.

I imagine that’s how people in Colombia say it, and I mimic it, like those people who over emphasize Spanish pronunciation in the midst of an otherwise English sentence (Them: “Oh, sure, I’ll have a margarita, gracias!” Me: “Dude, we’re at Chili’s, not a taqueria in Mexico City.” Them: “Well, pardon moi!” Me: “That’s French, you moron.”)

In all honesty, though, I pronounce it that way so I remember how to spell it. Been burned by the Columbia-When-I-Really-Mean-Colombia mistake a few too many times.

Template

Contrary to what I learned over 16 years of public schooling and seven years of professional work, it’s not “Tem-PLATE.” It’s “TEM-plit.”

Or, at least, that’s what it sounds like when I say it.

This discovery (made over a work meeting when a know-it-all former-journalist named Justin – who I can insult without guilt because he doesn’t read this blog – pointed out our flawed pronunciation and was further vindicated by a stupid, traitorous dictionary) was disappointing.

“TEM-plit” has no character. It’s flat. It’s gross. I like “Tem-PLATE.” It sounds like what it is. A plate of tem.

That is, if by “tem” I actually mean “stuff already done for you, you lazy fart.”