Why I don’t use GoDaddy

Disclaimer: This is in no way a knock against anyone who uses GoDaddy.

That being said, I don’t use GoDaddy. I refuse. I hate them. I think they’re a bunch of turds.

It isn’t because they’ve been universally reviled for having poor customer service. It isn’t because they’re the monolith throwing a shadow over the rest of the domain accrual industry. It isn’t because their marketing efforts are insulting to women.

It’s because their marketing efforts are insulting to MEN.

It’s because their ads and their brand and their entire being is based on this Neolithic idea that men will follow the breasts and the sex jokes and the thinly veiled innuendo when, in fact, Web practitioners and professional marketers are, for the most part, smarter than that.

We stopped laughing at boobie jokes at least two decades ago. But GoDaddy is convinced we’re all middle school morons.

And we’re supposed to be attracted to this?

We’re in a generation of thought-laden careers and carefully crafted personal brands. And whether or not you believe in that kind of crap, you have to understand that, let’s be honest, it’s not in our interest to drag our knuckles and giggle about butts. Yet, here we have the leading domain handler – with over 50% of the market – writing television scripts based on bare breasts and assuming that, without a doubt, all men will be led to remember GoDaddy fondly.

The truth is, it’s insulting. To me. Yes, it’s insulting to my wife and to my daughter and to my women friends and to any friend, really. But more than that, it’s insulting to me.

They lead the market not because they pander to the lowest common denominator, but because they’re the only outfit that sees any need to advertise on a major scale.

Imagine how they’d do if they stopped acting like 7th graders and started explaining why we should go with them in the first place.

Common sense, amirite? Talk about a special brand of insult.

And that’s why I don’t buy domains through GoDaddy.

This was lovingly handwritten on November 25th, 2010